I Couldn't Love You More
by HereWeGoOnceMore
Summary: Ten songs, a Matt/Mello ficlet for each song. Gift for scrambled-eggs-at-midnight. T for bad words and mentions of adult situations.


A/N: I wrote these a billion years ago for scrambled-eggs-at-midnight (go read her stuff; I'll wait) and recently decided to clean them up and post them. There's no continuity between any of them. Some of the songs come from putting my iPod on shuffle; some were suggested by Eggy. Many are available for free download on the artists' websites. I think all can be found on YouTube. The title is a line from the Cure's song "The End of the World," which does not appear on this list but which would, now that I think about it, fit right in.

**1. "Take Care of Me" by ****Jonathan Coulton**

"MATT!"

Matt winced. For someone who was supposedly trudging up Death's front walk, Mello sick seemed to put even more energy into his yelling than Mello healthy.

Matt wandered the five feet from the kitchen to the living room couch. "What do you want-" _now_, he didn't add.

"I need a glass of water."

_What, to soothe your sore vocal cords?_ After fetching His Nibs's water, Matt hung around in the living room. He knew it was only a matter of time before-

"MATT!"

"Jesus, I'm right here! What?"

"First, don't blaspheme. Second, can you turn the T.V. on?

"Use the remote."

"Where is it?"

"The remote is on the floor right next to you. It's been there all day, ever since the first time you asked for it."

"Well, _excuuuse_ me, Mr. Bitchy. It's not _my_ fault I'm sick." Mello sniffed, as if to prove that he wasn't faking.

"I'm going to the store."

"Pick me up some decongestant! And chocolate! And-" Mello was still yelling when Matt shut the front door behind him.

Matt didn't get home 'til late. _Please be asleep. Please be asleep. Be asleep right now, and feel better when you wake up, and we can forget all about today. Please be asl-_

"MATT!"

"WHAT?"

"... I missed you."

**2. "Dear Jenny" by the ****Dresden Dolls****  
**  
Mello flopped facedown on Matt's bed. "We're the only sane ones in this whole stupid school," he said. Since he was speaking into Matt's Yoshi bedspread, it came out sort of muffled.

Matt looked up, decided Mello's gloom was normal thirteen-year-old angst rather than something he needed to be concerned about, and went back to his magazine. "Are we out of chocolate again?"

"Almost as bad- I put pink dye in the laundry detergent. Roger found out it was me. I got detention for two weeks."

"So _you're_ the one who turned all my clothes pink? Prepare to die, fiend!"

When Roger saw the damage caused by the ensuing carnage, he gave Matt detention, too- but _not _with Mello.

**3. "Rainbow Veins" by ****Owl City****  
**  
"You're better than Near. If you weren't, I'd be _his_ best friend."

**4. "Time" by ****Sandi Thom**

It seems like just yesterday the first time Mello scowled at Matt to show that he was a Tough Guy. Matt thought the scowl looked funny on a gap-toothed kid with a bad haircut.

By the time Mello met Near, he had enough social credit that he could afford to smile. Near never stopped wishing for the guts to thank him and Matt for being the friends he wasn't good at making.

It seems like just slightly later into yesterday that Mello and Near started being rivals. Matt tried to stop them from also being enemies. He never stopped wondering if he could have tried harder.

Mello wasn't surprised when he and Matt kept being friends. He was surprised when they started also being something else.

Near wasn't surprised when Mello got himself killed. He was surprised by how much he missed him.

The SPK held a party today to celebrate Kira's defeat. Near didn't go.

Near is coughing his way through a cigarette. When it is gone, he will choke down a chocolate bar.

There are some things you just have to do. Near understands this. So did his friends. 

**5. "Soren Grey" by ****ThouShaltNot****  
**  
"Do you remember your family?" Mello asked.

"Mmf." Matt rolled onto his back.

"Your family. Do you remember them?"

"A little. Why?"

"I don't really remember mine. Just... dreams, sometimes."

Uh-oh. If Mello was bringing up personal stuff and hesitating when he talked, it meant he was feeling fragile. Matt wasn't much good at fragile people. "Were you... dreaming... just now?" Stupid; why else would he bring it up?

"Sort of. More like remembering while I was asleep." Mello moved a little closer.

"What did you remember?"

"My mother, mostly. She was young, too young for kids. I used to hate her for giving me up."

"Do you still?" Matt asked, mostly awake now.

"I don't think so. Actually, no. _Hell,_ no." Mello kissed his cheek. "After all, if she hadn't, I never would have met you."

**6. "****Raising Cain****" by Rock, Paper, Cynic**

"I'm bored," said Mello.

"You're always bored," said Matt. "You're only not bored when you're competing against somebody or getting in trouble."

"Let's go get in trouble."

"You can. I'm going to stay here and watch telly."

Mello flipped through the _T.V. Guide_. "There's nothing but crap on."

"Good old lowest-common-denominator, doesn't-get-Matt-arrested-or-detention crap." Matt turned the volume up and put his feet on the coffee table- classic I'm Not Listening To You moves.

Mello got between Matt and the television- a classic You Will Listen To Me Whether You Want To Or Not move. "C'mon, Matty. There must be somewhere in all England you'd rather be than here. Let's go bar-hopping."

Matt held up a finger. "One, they wouldn't let us in bars. We look too young." Another. "Two, I don't go anywhere with people who call me Matty."

Mello's face crept into a smile. "Okay, Matty. You don't have to go with me. You don't have to break into the guy next door's wine cellar."

"Damn right I don't have to do anything, y'know,_ illegal._

"You don't have to ding-dong ditch the neighbors."

"Don't care," said Matt.

"Not even that bitch who throws stuff at us when we cut across her yard."

"As fun as it would be, I really don't need more detention."

"You _definitely_ don't have to help me spray-paint unflattering things about Bill Gates all over the walls of public buildings."

Okay, how the hell was Matt supposed to turn _that_ one down?

"Bill Gates _and_ Steve Jobs," Mello added.

"I'll get my coat," said Matt.

**7. "To the Riot" by Stars**

There are some things that you _just don't ask_ Mello about. All the things that happened between Mello running off to take over the Mafia five years ago and Mello turning up in Matt's life five weeks ago. All the things about what he's feeling and why he's feeling it. Anything about his insecurities and uncertainties. Anything remotely personal, in fact. Mello makes it clear that the days of easy friendship and telling each other secrets are over.

This is why Matt catches Mello's hands and says, "Talk to me."

"Nothing to talk about."

"Please."

"No."

And Matt doesn't press it. He keeps asking, though. He keeps asking whenever Mello stops posturing and yelling and slips, briefly, back into the skin of the kid who used to get himself and his best friend stuck in detention together until Roger figured out that putting them in the same room just caused more chaos. He keeps asking because that's what friends do and that's what they are, whether Mello remembers it or not.

"Talk to me."

"Someday."

It'll have to do, for now.

**8. "Second Hand Faith" by Emilie Autumn**

Matt shuffled his feet. He looked down at the ground, off to the left, then up. B had once told him that God lived on the ceiling, and old habits died hard.

"Um. Hi. I don't know if you care what agnostics say to you. I don't know if you're there to listen, actually. I think it goes with the whole agnostic thing. But. Um. Could you maybe help my friend Mello? 'Cause the police have stopped trying, and he's really not old enough to-"

"No one's listening to you, Matt."

"You are."

"True. I seem to have been wrong, for once in my life." Near smiled a little to show it was a joke and he didn't really think it was the first time he'd been wrong. Second or third, maybe. "No one in the sky's listening to you."

"You don't know that. Maybe, say, Odin is listening," Matt said.

"Why would Odin want to help someone who doesn't believe in him?"

"He moves in mysterious ways."

"Wrong deity, Matt," Near said.

"Hey, if it can help Mello out, I don't care what deity it is."

"Your faith in invisible men is commendable. Now, if only you'd have a little faith in Mello, whose existence can be verified."

"I do have faith in him! I just think maybe he needs a little help, is all."

Near, the eavesdropping little bastard, smirked. "Whatever happened to Mello's god helping those who helped themselves?"

"Extra help."

"Wouldn't it be easier to help him if, instead of offering prayers to Yahweh and Odin, you offered tangible, physical aid to Mello?"

"Did you miss the part where I don't know where the hell Mello _is_?" Matt almost yelled.

Near didn't raise his voice at all. "Did you miss the part where we are being groomed to succeed the world's greatest detective?" 

"Good point. Sorry, Yahweh and Odin, but I'll have to get back to you on the prayer thing." Matt took Near's hand and pulled him up. "Let's go, Near. We've got a bitchy blond to track down."

**9. "Banned From Argo" by Leslie Fish and the Dehorn Crew**

"_What_ did you _do_?" It wasn't the first time Roger had asked this question. He hoped but doubted it would be the last.

"We were playing _Star Trek_," said Mello.

"You should see the spaceship we set up in the backyard," Matt added.

"I'm Spock," a very tiny Near said proudly.

"That's not a good explanation for this. Why was Gina crying?"

"She was a Klingon. I had to arrest her," Mello explained.

"Couldn't you arrest her without making her cry?"

"Well, she didn't _want_ to be the Klingon-"

"Oh, God." Roger had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"- so we had to set a trap for her."

Matt picked up the story. "Only it got Kyle."

"Who started yelling," said Mello.

"So we had to lock him in the closet so he wouldn't alert Gina to our plan-"

"But he broke the door down." It would have been nice to think that Mello's distressed look was on account of the stress all this would cause Roger, or even the emotional trauma Kyle might have suffered from being stuck in a closet... but it was almost certainly because of his plan being spoiled.

"And the door fell on Gina."

Roger let his head fall onto his desk.

"I think you broke him," said Near.

"So, does this mean we can leave?" asked Matt.

"No," said Roger. "Mello, to your room. Matt, to... somewhere that's _not_ Mello's room. Near... you're barred from the playroom until further notice."

The boys trudged off. As they walked out of his office, Roger thought he heard Mello say, "Maybe if we kidnapped _Roger_..."

He really hated his job.

**10. "Smoke" by Ben Folds Five**

"It'll work."

"And what if it doesn't work? What if it all-" Matt waved his hand to show the true, immense scope of what they were discussing "- goes up in smoke?"

Mello spread his arms wide. "Well, I'll be dead then. It'll happen eventually, anyway. Why not tomorrow?"

"'Cause I'll miss you."

"You can just go hang out with Near."

Matt punched him in the shoulder. "Not funny."

"Yes it is. Everything's funny. Life's a laugh and death's a joke."

There was going to be no talking to him tonight. There was never any talking to him about anything serious. "Can you at least act like kidnapping isn't an everyday occurrence?"

"It's not?"

"Mello... what am I going to do with you?"

Mello thought for a moment. "You're going to see how my genius plan works, and then you're going to live happily ever after with me."

"Sure, Mello. Whatever you say."

**Wow, those last few got much less cheerful than the first few, didn't they?**

**Reviews? Please? I hate criticism, even constructive criticism, so be sure to give me plenty (constructive criticism, that is. Destructive criticism is neither helpful nor something I intend to pay attention to.)**


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